这条路真的越走越累，越走越寂寞

不想走 不想动

害怕失去

我emo了 ><

好想自己不要那么注重感情

害怕失去了现在身边的任何一个人，

每个失去的都可以让自己的心很疼

如果可以的话，

好想把你们全部都永远留着！

令到我审查自己的心，

到底我把什么东西放做永恒了？

不想啦，晚上容易emo，睡觉去！

明天nilai-ing！

只想说

喔

这只太过注重感情的动物

伤不起啊！

肿么每个都是这样，我问我自己，然后反省，然后纠结，然后闷闷不乐，

学习到了，不合则罢这潇洒的气度 （囧）

当我太注重的时候，往往没有好结果，世上，真的没有永恒！

很想让你相信我，

当世界都已尔虞我诈的标准为生活本质的时候，

还有待人以诚的人活在世上，他走了，就真的不回来了，伤不起啊！

Diving

潜水....潜去不要见到人得地方一段时间.....

再重新面对这个世界...........

Now..

现在，

就算一个人，

也要过得精彩，也要过得没有遗憾。。

大大力的笑...whee...eee....x))))

Low level now, need a upgrade need a push...

曾经听一位牧师说过，不懂的爱神，就不懂得爱人

今天恍然大悟，觉得这样的自己太没有“爱”了

以前会抱着“不可含怒到日落”的心态来做人，

原来的爱与包容，早已没有了，

没有爱和包容，处事小气，容易生气，很不喜欢这样的自己。

特别是在分不清别人是开玩笑还是伤害你的时候，这样的自己另自己都讨厌。

人啊，离开了神，什么都不是啊。。

Friends are just too important to me,

so I appreciate everyone in my life from the bottom of my heart...

Although always get hurt myself when I concern and expect too much,

friendship should last long because everyone appearing in your life is not a coincidence...

Chilling with your change

Old Habit

I have old habit,

habit of "trying to be same" as others...

Sometimes,I just curious of what others (my friends) are doing...

Just feel like wanna check on others all the time,

what habit is this =X

May be it is loneliness

May be it is just a feeling of trying to be same....

Hmmm~~I do need to have my own lifestyle now~~

Pain is

~wake up call to awaken

~chance to look deeper to yourself

~time to adjust the course of life

God tries to be as gentle as possible, and only if you ignore the call does the pain get stronger . . .

By a sudden get to know why the pain is made for...

Two things

1. In order to be tougher,we need to admit that we are weak. And being tough doesn't mean being strong against another stronger one,it is about being wise in making decision for long term benefits.

2. Everyone will eventually have their own pattern of lifestyles, being self-oriented is important than being group-oriented, it is important to know what kind of life you want to live.

Sitting in the balcony of my room facing the Nilai's trees, and ,

talking with God with all my heart...

Reading the bible and find that,

You are the only one understand me the most...

Im not weird, Im just special

原来我才是你们当中最没用的那个。。。。

自以为是的“明白爱”！

爱邻舍的心源于上帝对我们的恩慈、宽容与忍耐。领人悔改、归向上帝的并非律法，而是祂的慈爱（罗马书2章4节）；因祂的良善，我们才能因信祂爱子基督耶稣，得着救恩。


若是真的明白爱，就不会因为自己的个人性格还是“以了解他人性格”的藉口而拒绝爱身边的人！

性格没有胜过爱，爱胜过一切。。

很不想继续纠结下去。。。

挣扎得没力了。。！！！

越来越空虚的生命。。。

Empowered Message

On this day of your life, Wil, we believe God wants you to know ... that when events happen which seem catastrophic, it is not only possible, but very important for you to allow yourself to come to a place of calmness.
	Panicking serves no one - not yourself, not the people who are suffering, and not the planet. Allow yourself to trust that there is a larger purpose and that it may not be necessary for you to know that purpose at this time. Allow yourself to have faith that ultimately, all will be well.

Sometimes,we make ourselves think inside a box,

this time,I need to have strong faith to overcome the "small things & little feelings" before I get to know the larger purpose of the series of things happened.

THANK YOU JESUS!!!

No more struggles please! I want to give up already!! Please... Let me live the life I want...May I ??

Again...history happened!! Hole in Heart, when it can be truly filled? s.a.d!

Chaff and Grain

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away."

George Eliott

Target

About Life I always have a target, "to live the life I really want"... But why this target always seems so far from me? I may not have enough courage to persue it... I know my weakness, and do you know? Or... Do you know what type of life you want to pursue? About People A very beautiful thought passed my mind.... It is like this: My life is so coulourful because of everyone that paints my life, everyone that loves me, and everyone loved by me, and the passers-by! I will learn to love more and I really wanna hold you all in my limited memory for good! Life will be beautiful with love... Recently knowing some new friends in college, I do wanna build relationship with them, because I think, it is God's arrangement for me to meet with each of them, so that I can learn from them, and also share witht them, I wanna paint our lives colourful, but I dont knowthe ways, Im stupid .. Nevertheless, I will try! About ... Sometimes, we have to conquer the "wrong-love thoughts"so that we wont be miserable in lives. This is what I went through, and I really wish I can do it better next time. IN SHORT, Live the life as the fullest as you can!

Too much in your life?

Very comfortable now...
Feel relieved and free when choosing not to be a hair-splitting person...

Learnt:

When certain circumstance has been changing,it is better not to get involved too much.

When a person is different from the past time,after working hard in that reletionship between u and him/her,choose to let it go until miracle pulls u and him/her again.

When there is mundanity in your life,change if you can,rest if you cant,dont push yourself too much,God is there for better orchestration.

When you are really sad for something,there is strength in silence,lets going back to hug from God.

When you mess up yourself with the outside environment,it is time to understand yourself.

When people dont value you,figure it out,let it go,believe that God value you more than you know.

When you are happy,dress youself with the attitude of thanksgiving,and dont think you wont fall down for ever,hold on to God.

When it is midnight,it is time to sleep and concern about your health.

It is Sunday,time for wake up and worship (~.^)

Just want to be normal...
Sometimes I do wish I can think and organise things in mind in simple way,
but I just cant

From today onwards,I will protect myself very carefully,
and will be strong

Nice

Through a long and tired weekdays,

am now sitting in the Thinking Cup and enjoy nescafe ice with fast internet,
I start loving this lifestyle.

The wind breathes smooth enough to appease me...
Love this weather in this condition,comfortable...

If I use one word to describe this week,
I would use,
nice.

Oh yeah,weekends,time for home! rock...

A Sensitivity,A Gift

Sensitivity,will be a characteristic people brand me.
It is a gift for me.



I can smell a condition,sometimes (when nothing interupt my mind)
Im pro in guessing some moves that will be taken,
or some motives behind someone,

this is a gift,

but the pathetic thing is,
usually I don't know ways to stop it,
or even hinder from it,
and just watch some events happened just like what's in my mind.

May be I shouldnt have this sense of sensitivity,
because this hurts me,
and I will rather choose to be a careless one,
may be life is much more beautiful than I think.

________________________________________________


Went through a great lesson with big cost,
I will learn to cherish u guys,
and I will understand myself better in future.

Btw
I'm sorry!


It is Wednesday,guys!
Life is amazing if you CHOOSE to look for good in everyone,everything.
muax...

Now I have a dream,



a dream to reach my potential in eveything I do!



Let's get it started.

Realizing that Im weaker and weaker...
I should learn to know how to love people,cherish people...

scream for help... "" ""

Valentine Day? LOL!

Aduih...this day huh...so geli...
I hate this day...since Im always single for 20 years...wt...

So..A LOL is more than enough for this day...
But then what I want to share here is...
Choose the best one,rather than choose the fast way...

Frankly,I feel lonely bit and quite uncomfortable when others especially frens around are going "double" and no more single...
But for me, for been thru a hard time,
it makes me realize that feelings must be conquered by clear rational thoughts.

Anyway,happy valentine for couple,
and so for single...

Is single the best?
Depends. =$

Joy come when you pass on the love you have received

If you hoard love, it melts away.
If you lock love, it breaks free.
If you grab on to love, you end up holding an illusion.
When you let love flower in its own way, it stays to support you.
When you pass on love, it multiplies beyond measure.

Rejoice

Finally can online...waliao...

back to the theme,
today Im reminded by the scripture,
that,
Rejoice is actually a must for Christians...

It is hard to rejoice in this world which exists with struggles and hardships...
But that's a way...

"Rejoice in Lord" Philippians 4:4

A great day to start with,xoxo....

Leaving you,Im nothing...
Coming nearer to you,Im your everything!


Feel soooo comfortable to 'meet' you again after miss the worship for so many times,
being so hang fuk to hear your voice to speak with me,
this is the real sound,
with 3 times that want me to be courageous enough to handle this world,
just because you are be with me,that's Emmanuel.

Leaving you, Im nothing.

Gradually...

Im recovering :)
from resentment,from hurts,from struggles.

Feel good.

It is important to keep a positive mindset to start a new semester,
moreover,it is more challenging than last time,
as I make a huge shift,
from a place with boredom to a place which can keep me learning to join the society.

Gradually...
I feel that Im growing up,
just few days ago,
I thought life has too much to bear,
but perspectives change when positive mindset is developed.

Keep this,
until the end of the world.

Everything will be alright,
and...Im back...

Im superficially infatuated with money

Sick of this

Pressure-ing

Why don't just change??
sick of this!

Come at just the time

On this day of your life, Wil, we believe God wants you to know ... that you are perfect as you are.

God doesn't create faulty life. No. Everything created by God is perfect, and so are you. So stop driving yourself mad with endless ways to improve, and just accept the glory of your being as is.


Value yourself precisely.

我穷我感恩,
因为当我一富有就可以荣耀神的名字！

God,guide me ^^

The last thing I want to do is to get rid of bad habits

2011...here I come XD
Soul is happy after praying desperately..

Time

A big result always comes out at the right time.


I learn this through my life.

However,I can forget this lesson easily,because Im so impatient.


God's ways are higher than ours,
right things and beautiful results will come out at just the right time.

May be there is something we have been waiting for so long to happen,
but it is still yet to come.



To be faithful,to be righteous in the process,
is the way to wait for the result to be released.



In that time,
"make it your ambition to lead a quiet life,to mind your own business and to work with your hands,just as we told you,so that you can win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody". 1Thessalonians 4:11



Im waiting for... ... ... too much to say,
God,do it your way bah...

True Friends

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend!



Feel touching when reading this news,
an acid attack victim is going back to school and the one beside her,is her friend since standard 1.

"If anyone teases Nurul, I will come to her defence,"declared her friend.

Recently emo emo de me is warmed by this news,
tears are rolling in eyes because true friendship will appear as soon as troubles prevail.

This incident does strike my heart,
as recently I feel not so good with some friends that are growing up with me since small,
is the time for the fragile friendship breaks?

Friends,
can be the one who always tease you with jokes to create happy atmosphere,
but must be the one who accompany you when you are going through darkness...

I guess,I have....

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.-- Walter Winchell

Friends are needed both for joy and for sorrow. -- Samuel Paterson

Friendship is the golden thread that ties the heart of all the world.-- John Evelyn

Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief.-- Swedish proverb

阿爸天父
从我心深处呼求你名字

Ugly me ?

Hmm...
2011 Now...

Thanks to the friends in church for preparing the activity that help me to know myself better,
but honestly,I know,but I cant remove the "ugly me" in my life before the new year starts.

This is just not that easy.

To let go, is the only struggle that haunt me all the time.
I tell others in that sharing,
Im a bad person with strong jealousy and selfishness,
these make me building a barrier between God and me especially,
this struggle,kills me slowly!

BUT...

It is the time to stop,
let me vow to evil,
This year is the year of Breakthrough!!
I out my strong faith in God's kindness to bring me out of this struggle,
may be soonly difficulties will come to "help" me to grow up wiser from struggle,
God's way is higher than mine,
My insight will be deepened,one day.
Hope that's in 2011 !