Start again with Praising

Owh..mess up!
A great mess up,in anything right now!

In this midst of confusion,I know that God is a good God,
I believe that He will going to pour blessings to me,family and friends,anything aroud me!

Start over this life with Praising Him

Faith,Hope,Love

Feelings

Controversial feelings do happen inside my heart,
I feel fed up with this life,these friends and these circuamstances!
Honestly to say,Im really don't have any faith some more to lean on God,
Im undergoing a bad season...

~Pray for me,I wonder perceptions I harbour for right now~

Just feel that it is so unfair,
why bad people will receive such "blessings",
good people who insist in doing good deeds have to thrive,
I really dont have the eye of faith,
to see upon this curcumstance in parts of life and even in college,
just wanna give up,just wanna rest,just wanna doubt,just wanna blame,
as these feelings will make me feel more comfortable...

The recent words ask me to arise,
I have tried so many times and every time,
disappointments will knock me down and I try and try again,
I try to stay in faith,using words typed in Facebook(words of God) to remind me,
using words pasted on wall of my room to replenish my energy,
however,it makes me more disappointed after I plant seed of faith in God's words...

This is just too hard for me in this semester,
I find that,I lost my own value,cant find purpose in process of finding.
Trying to be mature over some circuamstances,
but actions of people piss me off and drive me up tp the wall.
Just feel like "I bear enough!" "Go away!"...
Tired of believing some more good will happen...

WHAT HAPPEN TO ME??

...in the process of struggling...

Enlarging Vision

Dare to Dream!
Woohooo! Im excited!

My friend just noticed me a good news that is promotion highlighted by AirAsia:
This is a really great promotion and all the tickets are being so cheap now!
Im really excited because I walk nearer to what I want in my life,trip to the world!!
I wonder why I have such a great faith that I will fulfill my fream in next year,
Hahahaaas....This taught me to "enlarge my vision"...

There is a habit to focus on daily routine problems,
when habit conquer you rather than you conquer the bad habit,
we have to think in long term,set a long term goal,focus and achieve!
Although Im still not able to buy the tickets to go Korea with a trip,
but it does help me to make my vision bigger and I can get a bigger picture in my life!
It is important to have dreams,because once your life lack of passion,
dream will push you to conquer the reality,
Moreover,God is be with me!

What I want to highlight is:
Dream bigger,be the best each day I can be,focus and achieve,let blessings overtake you!

Xoxo!!

Lessons substitute Healing

Wao!! Only the second day I want to start over but the reality crashes me down,wtc!

I learn that,
Child of God must learn to live by holy spirit and does not gratify own desires.

Alamak,Im almost beaten down by the incident happened,
I can choose to blame everything again,
but instead of blaming,I see this from perspective of God.

This is actually a lesson taught from God to me,
God want me to learn to let my life lead my spirit but not own desires,
this is also the truth that I always flee to face it,
but now,it push me to face it,
in this moment,I find that it is blessing and my heart is so peaceful,
there is a way for me now to continue my daily life,

"Therefore,strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 'Make level paths for your feet',so that the lame may not be disabled,but rather healed" Hebrews 12:12

Apparently,this time I focus on Healing.

There is time when you have to die for resurrection,
burial is the process and live eternally is the end,
therefore,just be still !

Au Chen loves August

August will be so good for me! I believe,do you?
As you believe,you receive!! COngrats!

There are some lessons I learnt in my spiritual life

Clearly know that,it is time to stretch to a new level.
Because life push me to do it, and I try this new method the whole month of July.
But I will try it at this August too,because I know: Nothing is difficult in LORD !!!
20 days of hard work will make me reap an abundant harvest,I believe!
This is time to stretch!

Having faith is not easy,
because there is time when you are in doubt,
but in time when you are doubt and dont want to seek God,
God will still control the whole world and work behind the scenes,
bring you something amazingly that you will never know....
I learn that,there is useless to seek anyone,any material things,any blessings,
when I seek God first,Honor Him, and I know all will be added to me.

And,
nowadays I can feel strongly that people and things around me can change rapidly,
I wonder how I can "survive" in some situations,
and I wonder how I can achieve victory in every hard work I have sow,
I draw a conclusion from that,
people that change will surprise you,things that change will shock you,
but God wont change,He is eternal !!

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:31

August is also a FAITH MONTH declared by myself.
Love my life! XoxO!

Don't ruin yourself

Finally,finish my Redang trip,
it is a blessing from God and a scripture has been proved:


Commit to Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

Beach and Sunshine,
Sharks and corals,
Enjoy the trip with my brothers and sisters.
Thanks all ^^


TODAY,


I let judgement of people ruin my day,
I let my EQ controlled by the freaking situation,
I let myself down in mood and start having a bad temper day.


It is so easy to get my mood stucked by the situation,
I promise to myself,no more,
whatever they judge me,I don't care,

Yah,I have past,so what?
Yah,I still have the same old trouble,SO WHAT MAN?!
God haven't judge me,when is your turn to judge me?
I run my race and It is so blessed for me to read a scripture again:

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past (Isaiah 43:18, NIV).


Past can ruin people,but people can manipulate the heart,
as God asks us to guard our heart-wellspring of Life!

Now,Im born again,Most Blessed is:

On this day of your life, Au Chen, we believe God wants you to know ...
that each day is a day in making.

At any moment, you can make a different choice about what you are doing, how you are feeling, and what you are focusing on. It is never too late to start over again and make new choices.

I love my God,
because He is always doing new things in my life.

Knowing Jesus is the most blessed event ever in my life,
I don't want to get stucked by this 'sin' anymore,
today is a new day with new things God will do.

I almost fall in disappointment when I feel that God do not answer my prayer,
until I pray again, and He says,okay,life must go on.

Do not dwell in the past,new things ahead.
I choose Jesus,rather than condemnation.

Restructure Life

I decide to restructure my life
because I find that reality of my life is far away from mission I set on the beggining of year...
Im going to run my own race,not going to be affected by others,
because Im talented and Im gifted,

I know,Im different !

This is sooo free,
do not compare yourself to others,
do not feel insecure when people is in front of us in some competition.

I quit, I wont compete, I have my annointing destiny, I go my way now, Emmanuel !

I feel so comfortable with myself right now,
although I feel the world is pushing me down sometimes esspecially some events happened non-stop,
now I feel free, I have my own race,that simple!
Be the best I can be, keeping my head high, walking in confident way!

I receive this message today! Sooo blessed!

Went to SOS concert at mentakab,
having a prayer and advice seeking section after the concert,
God uses his servants to tell me directly his message,
the guy point out many scriptures that I want to hear,
I just cant stop praising Him,
because God has been revealing a new height in my life that I can achieve.

I have problem in obeying God,
Im not disciplined,but I get encouraged and Im touching when the guy tells me,
"It is not matter about how much effort you put in obeying God, God doesnt want us to follow His commandments in that way,let's feel His love before you obey"
Blessed right?
This is what I want to hear in this time,
I focus too much on others and lose the most important aspect in my spiritual life,
God's love.

Just because He loves me,then only I love God wholeheartedly,
it is an useless love without feeling His love.

... ... ... ....

Remember last week how the arrangement of God surprise me,
I wonder His arrangement,I lost my patience,
I do not know how my college life is going to continue in this way,
but His arrangement is revealed by a blessed sentence I read in an article,
"He can turn inconveniences into opportunities"

I realize that now, this is really an advantage for me in this time,
the right time, the right opportunities come, the wrong people leave and the right people enter my life,
this is sooo blessed,
no need to figure it out until it reveal by itself!
Just stay in faith and wait patiently but not hoping miracles happen every second,
it takes time to bear the most juicy fruit,
it takes time to let me know what the arrangement should be.

I learn a lesson again,
God strectch me in this bad situation,
until I step out with faith,
then the disadvantages and inconveniences become benefits for my life.

I will stay in this attitude until I stretch to that level.
A new Monday,new mindset,new lifestyle,new wineskin!

Let bygones be bygones!

Nowdays,trouble surrounds me!

Actually,in these weeks,I always hear my heart whispering in this way,
"trouble follows me,they wont go"

that happened until I let them go!

I find that I behave in a bad way recently,
in speaking and in action,I measure with my heart,I did it bad!

When our heart does not comdemn us,that is when we are doing right things!
This is for me!

Yah,
it is true.
Everytime you are insisted with a thing that you will never let go and u know that u suppose to let it go,
you will feel badly,
but u are still harden your heart,
dunno who is in control of this world,
our Heavenly Father.

He is in control of everything,
so it is no point to insist to get something or grab something tightly or struggle to make things happen,
kwoning this truth,

When you let go,you will see God doing in amazing ways!


I love what David said in Psalm 31, "God, I'm trusting You. My future is in Your hands."


I will
let go of my bad behavior especially selfishness,
let go of my insistence in some people,
let go of my past and look forward in my bright future.

Life is too short to live it in a way that my heart condemns me!

Today,I focus back on my future,with real peace,joy and victory!
Abundant life,it is here!

A special ordinary Day

I feel the sense of satisfaction overwhelms me,
my face looks brighter than before,my heart becomes more and more delighted.


God first breathes a new life into a man when He makes Adam,
after that he finds that Adam is lonely,so He makes a woman for him,
thats happenning before they sin.

There are two holes in human's heart,
one is for God to fill it up with His peace and joy,the other one is for people around us to fill it.
We feel empty always because either one of the hole is not filled with love,
either God's love or love from people.

The truth is,everyone needs both holes to be filled.

7 o clock in the morning,the sun rises higher than before,
I picked up my bag and went to school by bus.

I did a prayer before,
God,helps me to make my heart delighted,
makes me happy with things and people around me.

This prayer of course works,
after 8 hours classes,I enjoy much the lifestyle,
although it was tired and exhausted,
but I can feel the grace with faith,
with a thanksgiving heart,I dont want to blame anyone anything,
just let my heart knows,God is in complete control,
I try my best to reach out to people surround me,
love their smiles,so cute,so funny.

Guard my heart successfully,my whole day goes smoothly,
do not let my heart be troubled by anything,
unfair things may come,but my heart does say,do not lose your peace.

Always,when I feel that people dont really accept who am I,
when people try their best to make u ashamed,make you feel discouraged,
when people inaccidentantly hurt you,
when people just dont give you chances,
when you lost,when you feel empty,
God knows it,He fills my hole in my heart,

with His unfailing love.

I declare,I have my characters,do not try to burn me,Im developed.

Sounds crazy,but that's the way I will live for God and myself,
at same time,reaching hands to needed,invest in people who need me instead.

My life,comfortable!



"On this day, God wants you to know...
... that nothing costs as little and is worth as much as a smile.
Relax, let yourself smile, and see the light come back to you tenfold."

More than Conqueror

Missed sunday worship today,felt so bad and this feeling may ruin the whole day!

But I attended a bible class,
today's scriptures are amazing,
they have told me something that Im always trying to flee from them,
I know in deep down my soul,they are words from God,
when my turn to read that scripture,
my tears almost rolled down from eyes

Being troubles by this endless problem,
knowing I will fight for may be some more years or my whole life,
I know Im totally ruined,always battles happen in my heart,
until the scripture appears,it seems like guiding me,telling me the truth of God.

I just know I will fight for some more time,
but Im more than conqueror!

Life played by my music

Sometimes when we are leading a hectic lifestyle,
stepping out our room in morning,stepping in the room at evening,
we get used to this lifestyle,

and,

there is always a time for you to think,to feel your feelings.

Just listen to a simple music,it is not a song but a music played by a piano,
it helps me to flash back my life,I look back the sweet memories,
I remembered some pictures that had been captured inside my brain,
those are sweet and memorable events happened!

My heart is delighted.

Always,we are looking ways to go back to these happy memories,
giving so much to make something just re-happen like before,
but no matter how much bigger our desire to make those happy things to rehappen again,
they are still not happening.

Im reminded,
we can look backwards,but do not step backwards.

Just like the happy events happened before,
they are happened unexpectedly,happened not in our control,
but they just happened so smopthly,they are just seem like happened for us!

Why we want to persue the life we had gone through before?

Why dont just wait,and let another unexpected,happy events come to pass in our lives?

It is much more easier,life is so great!

Existing love

Im doubted when I am surrounded by a whole circle of people that always have hidden face and hidden attitude,

and they all are so scary,

some choose to be the one fight in battle,

some choose to be the one who desire to have the power to control everything,

some choose to be the outsiders and laughing at others when someone is falling down,

some choose to hurt people back when they are being treated unfairly,

and these all prove to me,love is decreasing among people.

But most scary is,I did these all before!




Im amazed by this video,

it has nice music,

and it brings true message,

it tells audience again and again,

lay down for people,your father your mother your sister your brother your friend,

even though people who hate you,

and most of all,God is Love.

This video gives me a good reminder in my life,

when others are fighting over each other,

I should show my love,and now is the day to start practise this ah lol....

Love is the only thing lasts until you die.

I declare,let love starts with me bah =P

It is not easy but it is neccesarry

Become A Better Wil

My prayer is portrayed as the song "Still"
Although I still cant get my promotion yet,
but I know this is the time to believe again,
when the oceans rise and thunders roar,I will soar with God above the storm,
I will be still,waiting and sitting patiently,
see how can God turn around those circumstances for me!

Today's class,I read an article in my course guide,
surprisingly,there is a sentence which is telling my soul directly,

I get it,it says"Get that right and there shouldn't be a problem",

I know I have done many wrongdoings,but now is the day,
the day to choose to let all the past goes,
forget the past and moving forward,that is what my lovely God is saying to me,
besides,he says that,

"God tries to be as gentle as possible, and only if you ignore the call does the pain get stronger",

That's time to make decision,because I have the choice to make,
I can choose to sink down in my life right now,
or I can rise higher than before,than ever,than a place that I should be there!

Now is the time to has a new image of myself,
Im not my past anymore,Im controlling my future,
I will live with faith,hope and love again.

Jeremiah 31:14
My people will be filled with my bounty,declares the Lord.

Positive answers

Rupa rupanya there is a season you will feel really tired and can't find hope out,
when all things around show negative impact to us,
but focus God,because He has positive answer.


For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves,
God has a positive answer.


You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34)

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I'm poor"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)


I love all these promises!

Sing a new song!

Finally,there is no more struggle in my mind,
bible says,you have to guard your heart as heart is the wellspring of life!


Yeah,I do it right now!

Few days ago,I meet with many problems,
I can strongly feel the struggle in my mind,
It is a strong and hard spritual battle,
whether I choose to obey God or not.
Pathetic,I choose the desires of my heart!

"Rather,clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ,
and do not think about how to gratify the desires of sinful nature" Romans 13:14

It reminds me.


Just now I looked through the pictures that I grew from Form 3 to Form 5 until now,
there are pictures in facebook that show how is my growth,

how I pass the big test in that time,
how I was being comfortable with myself when I have a new life,
how I get back my self confidence to move forward,
how I prove to friends that look down at me and talking rubbish behind me,
how I get a new collection of good friends around me,
how I live peacefully with my family,
how I spend my time to do God's works,

And I can get the whole picture,
I clearly know that these are all blessings from God to help me grow!





But few days ago, emo emo de me think about the direction of my life,
I totally lost all the hopes to move forward!

There are battles I have to fight with,
I lose my hope in that difficult time,
I find that it is too hard to survive,
cant see the true direction and try so hard to figure the meaning of my life,
as I figure much and much,I find that I live more depressed and depressed.

Im reminding to tell myself,
am I going to live for who?


"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord"

"But blessed the man who trusts in Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its root by the stream"

Jeremiah 17:5-8

It tells me.


Obviously,I focus the wrong part again,
Joel's articles remind me times and times to focus on God and what He can do in our lives,
but I focus on the people and focus on the world,
at that time I had another struggle again,
it is about the pastor Joel and there are critisms about him,
omg,that's what in my mind.

I doubt am I read all the articles written by the "false prophet" in those time?

That's giving me another headache again!
What Im reading,does it related to God's words?

but now,
I have wisdom to differentiate whether the articles are what God wants to tell me or not.

There are many sounds in the world,
I learn to be wiser to know the sound of God and evil,
obviously,I can sense my growth in the Jan semester,
truly,the pastor's articles help me a lot,
and the most important is the scripture of Bible that Joel will post,
makes me know He is using bible teaching in his articles,
for that's God direction for me always!

because,
God's words=Promises

Beginning of a new semester,
I face again the same problem,
the financial problem worsen my status that time.

And honestly,Im being discouraged by all the things happened,
I don't have the mood to continue my study,
Many of my friends have stopped studying,
Im too dependent to people in surviving.

Here's another scripture!
"My grace is always sufficient for you,
God's strength is being showed completely in weak person"


Again,I feel that what I sow isn't what I reap!
Whether in relationship or in hard work,I doubt why I always get nothing in the end?

But today is the turning point of my probs,
I get a good and amazing result that I can't even imagine,
4 Flat in one of my subjects and others are 3.7!
I was shocked!!

That's telling me my payday is coming!
And another scripture that a sis in fb posts,
"God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them." Hebrews 6:10

It reminds me.

Although I haven't see the blessings that God will chase me down,
but I get hope inside!

I know,

Struggles make me stronger,

They make me to improve,

Im so happy to have weakness,

so that God can do amazing thing in my life,

just like how I look the pictures about my growth in these years,

Im still improving,problems will always kacau me,

but I rise higher this time!


I truly believe that,
in this new season of my life,
it will be blessed some more,
because I have God always available to help me,
with faith inside,I can break all obstacles on front of me,
I am more than conqueror!

AND NOW,
Im going to sing a new song to this season,
All Glory belongs to Him,
Amen~!